Ceremonies are one of my favorite moments in the planning of my weddings. Deeply emotional and highly personalized, they are designed to reflect the values and personalities of the couple. Every aspect of the ceremony (even a religious one), from the vows to the music, celebrates the couple’s unique love story, making it personal and emotionally resonant.
As you certainly understand, I am talking about secular, symbolic or religious ceremonies as for a destination wedding in Europe, it is complicated to obtain the authorizations for the celebration of a civil marriage. My clients often ask me about the possibility (and the dream) to be legally married in Florence, Cannes or Venice’s city halls, but I formally discourage it, for the length and the uncertainty of the process. So, my advice is always to have the civil ceremony in your hometown, ensuring that the marriage is legally recognized before your destination wedding celebration. After having gathered all necessary documents such as identification, birth certificates, proof of residence, and any required premarital counseling certificates, you apply for a marriage license at the local registrar’s office. Following the civil ceremony, conducted by a civil official, it is wise to invite your guests, who will not be able to attend the destination wedding, to a party. By organizing the legal civil ceremony in your hometown, you ensure that your marriage is recognized by your country or state. This allows you to fully enjoy the destination wedding without worrying about legalities, focusing instead on celebrating with loved ones in a beautiful and meaningful location.
Let’s talk now about the ceremony (religious, symbolic or secular) as part of the destination wedding. The chosen location sets the tone. Whether it’s a dedicated space on the same venue of the dinner or another place, as a beach at sunset, a rustic barn, a lush garden, a castle, an archeological ruin, a grand ballroom, a synagogue or a church, the setting should reflect your aesthetic and preferences. The selected space is typically set up with chairs for benches, a table and a designated area for the couple. An arch, a chuppah, an altar, a temple or a dome, beautiful decorations (flowers, candles and religious symbols pertinent to your faith), lighting and music create an atmosphere that resonates with your style and vision. Generally, the ceremony takes place at sunset, but sunrise could be a magical option.
The choice of the celebrants is a crucial aspect of any ceremony, whether it is religious, symbolic, or secular. Their role goes beyond simply presiding over the ceremony; they set the tone, guide the proceedings, and ensure that the event is both meaningful and memorable. A good celebrant takes the time to get to know your couple, understanding your personalities, values, and the story of your relationship. This personal connection allows to tailor the ceremony to reflect your unique journey and aspirations. The right officiant can incorporate personal anecdotes, special rituals, and meaningful readings, making the ceremony unique. The celebrant’s demeanor, voice, and presence significantly impact the overall atmosphere of the ceremony. An experienced officiant knows how to engage the audience, evoke the right emotions, and maintain the ceremony’s flow, ensuring it is both touching and captivating. The officiant can help navigate and integrate diverse cultural or interfaith elements, ensuring all aspects of the couple’s backgrounds are represented harmoniously. An experienced officiant can handle unexpected situations with grace, ensuring the ceremony proceeds smoothly even if unforeseen issues arise and can provide valuable guidance throughout the planning process, offering insights and advice on ceremony structure, vows, and other elements. When selecting an officiant, you should feel comfortable as a positive relationship can greatly enhance the ceremony experience. Personal recommendations and reviews can be helpful. The officiant should be willing to accommodate your wishes and preferences, whether for specific rituals, readings, or the overall tone of the ceremony. Ensure the officiant is available on the desired date and is willing to travel to the chosen location if necessary. Discuss fees and expenses upfront to ensure the officiant’s services fit your budget.
The ceremony begins : the officiant should be on place before the arrival of the guests, as well as for the photographer and videographer. You should choose songs and music that hold special meaning, whether it’s a classical piece, a favorite contemporary song, a soundtrack, a religious music or a live performance by a musician. For some advices about the selection of the right music for your ceremony, please read my blog about it. The selected music (harp, violin, singers or simply a playlist) should also be ready 15 minutes before the beginning of the ceremony.
At their arrival, the guests are greeted with refreshments and can leave personal messages or wishes in a guestbook or on a message board. Once the guests are well seated (according to the religious recommendations or your wishes on such a matter and always keeping the first rows clear for the family and the processional) and after having read the program of the ceremony (which can include personal anecdotes, quotes, notes of gratitude to guests and the chosen readings) the processional can start. This is one of the most emotional moments of all the ceremonies, so please be very careful for the constitution of your processional. Family, friends, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, veil maids, petals maids, ringbearers, children. You are perfectly free to decide your processional, but be careful to keep the number of persons in the processional comparable to the total number of guests (example: if you have a total of 50 guests at your destination wedding in Venice, please don’t have 20 people walking down the aisle and very few guests as attendees). During the walking, you should select a slow music, in order to help the members of the processional pacing and slowing their steps. When the last couple walk the aisle, keep some minutes with a beautiful and emotional music, waiting for the arrival of the bride, with her father or her parents.
The celebrant welcomes everyone and shares a brief story about the couple’s journey, highlighting key moments and their personalities. Afterwards, the readings can begin. The readings can be chosen from favorite books, poems, or even letters the couple has written to each other. Inviting loved ones to read these passages adds a layer of emotional connection. In particular, I love when the four parents (or the mothers or the fathers), read together a poem, an excerpt from a meaningful novel, or a heartfelt letter written by them.
The vows are also a highlight of personalization, with the couple writing their own promises to each other. This is often the most emotional part of the ceremony, as they express their deepest feelings, commitments, and hopes for the future. Sharing personal stories, promises, and dreams in their vows creates a deeply moving experience for both the couple and their guests.
Including personalized rituals that hold personal or cultural significance enhances the emotional impact of the ceremony. Planting a tree, symbolizing the growth and nurturing relationship, creating a time capsule, in which you place letters, mementos and small items to be opened on a significant future date. Lighting a candle together to symbolize unity, tying a knot to symbolize the binding of their live, blending different colored sands to represent the merging of two lives.
The exchange of rings is often accompanied by personal words about what the rings signify to the couple, adding depth to this traditional act. The officiant’s pronouncement can include personal touches, such as a blessing or wish that resonates with your values and journey. The first kiss as a married couple is a moment of pure joy and emotion, often met with applause and cheers from guests. The officiant offers closing remarks often incorporating a blessing or wish for the couple’s future.
The recessional also can be planned as you prefer: the newlyweds can exit first, with all the guests greeting them from their seats or launching petals. The guests may also exit firstly, in order to greet the couple. The music is chosen to reflect the couple’s joy and excitement, creating a celebratory atmosphere as they walk back down the aisle together.
The ceremony is a mix of heartfelt moments and joyous laughter, with the officiant and participants sharing stories and memories that elicit a range of emotions. The ceremony fosters a sense of connection among guests, as they witness the couple’s love and commitment, creating a communal experience that’s both uplifting and memorable. By infusing your ceremony with personal touches, you ensure that your wedding is a meaningful celebration of your unique bond and shared future.
